Pregnant...and Learning How to Trust God

So since finding out we're pregnant, it's been an exciting journey of learning how to trust God in a new and deeper way. I can go into great detail of what it's been like, but wanted to give just one example of what we've learned in fighting to trust God and ultimately being able to remain in His peace.

Shortly before leaving for training in hawaii, we got an ultrasound done and was told by our doctor that they weren't able to call it a pregnancy yet because there was only an embryo sac with nothing in there. He suggested that we didn't go to hawaii just in case we had a miscarriage, the bad news went on and on. Now our doctor is actually really amazingly compassionate, is a follwer of Christ and most of his patients are missionaries and he's usually really positive so it was really unusual to hear such negativity coming from him but as a doctor, he's got an obligation to give us the worst possible scenario.

We were floored with discouragement thinking that we weren't actually pregnant, we were just thrown into confusion. With our emotions all over the place, we quickly went to prayer and sought God for the truth in the midst of this craziness. How God came through was astounding. On my way home from the doctor's, I was praying and asking God to give us something, just say something!! And as I stopped at a stoplight, the car in front of me had a license plate that read, "GR8KIDS" .... how amazing is that!?!

Jon and I quickly called some of our friends to pray and seek God as to what's going on and we ourselves took a drive to process it all and pray. Thankfully, over and over, God comforted us and encouraged us to be at rest, that our child is ok, is growing normally and not to worry. Ultimately, not to accept what the doctor said as truth. We needed to allow Truth Himself to lead us into the truth, and it really did set us free!! John 8:31-32. At that point, we chose to allow God to have the final say in our lives and not the doctor - whom we have so much respect for!!

So our child was ok, but our next obstacle was do we go to training or not? Do we follow the doctor's orders or seek God for what He thought? I wanted to stay back and wanted Jon to go to training cause I was scared about this miscarriage stuff that the doctor was talking about!! The day before we were scheduled to leave, my mom called and had such a deep conviction that we both needed to go...and for my mom to say this, and to call so dang early in the morning to tell me, I had a feeling it was God. I got off the phone and asked God if He was somehow speaking through her and if it was true. So I decided to go and I was instantly filled with incredible peace that I can't even put words to. But it's like the cloud of confusion lifted and I could see clearly. That's when I knew it was God, the presence of His peace was so strong. I realized how much I had allowed fear to dictate what I should do.

While we were at training, throughout the week, we kept seeing how we were right where we were supposed to be. We kept thanking Him over and over for His serious faithfulness to us, for standing by us.  This was just one scenario of what it's been like to trust God on a deeper level than we've known. Certainly, we're not bashing doctors or their wisdom and skill, but it's clear that we can't lean on everything they say. We need to truly lean on God, discern truth and not lean on our own understanding of what we think is right (Proverbs 3:5-6). He knows the way that'll lead us to true life, so why have it any other way!?!?

We still face many unanswered questions as to what our near future looks like, but we're looking forward to trusting on God more than ever before... there's such a peace that comes from truly surrendering everything and leaning on Him. So a child-like heart and wisdom from God is what I'm praying for through all of this...dig into James 3:13-18, it's an amazing explanation of the difference between earthly wisdom vs. wisdom from God.

And this is just the beginning of our crazy journey into parenthood!! Come join us for the ride!! Now we're learning what it means to be missionaries with a bigger family than just us two! And thank God for amazing families around us who are modelling what it's like to be young missionaries with kids!! Thank you God for amazingly faithful family and friends around the world, especially in the TDot!!

Love you all and appreciate you so much, more than you'll ever know...

 

- tami